Building on a vulnerable foundation

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I had begun to see a pattern in my life.  With those people that I would open up to, to allow them to really see the true me, faults and strengths, I would begin to form incredible healthy, loving connections that made both of us in the relationship feel more whole, loved, and accepted.  It is an amazing feeling.  I will take that feeling over any other "high" any day, hands down.

I saw a comment by one of my Wife's friends on Facebook this morning:
"Today I realized that I am afraid to enter into a relationship space with a man because I am fearful that once I allow myself that vulnerability, I will completely lose myself within that person. That that person with then take advantage of the vulnerability. This is going to take longer than I thought."
In my weird world of SSA, I am feeling exactly the same way.  Oh, the complexity of life!  While sexual intimacy will always be reserved for my sweetheart and true love, I am learning, a little painfully, that I need strong, healthy emotional relationships with men.  The pain comes from facing a core belief of mine that it is not OK to be weak, that I need to be strong, that others have to see me as strong.  And being strong means not needing anyone.

One of the comments on the post above shared a TED talk by Brené Brown.  I've heard several people talk about this but I hadn't got around to listening to it yet.  Truth be told, I was feeling somewhat full of myself -- I've got this vulnerability thing covered, I thought.  I am now choosing to laugh at my own vanity.  The immediately became one of my favorite talks.  Here it is:

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