Finding Strength of Will

There are many reasons why being married to a woman is good enough for me, and in some ways better or easier for me than being with a guy. Jealousy .  Maybe this is unique to my wife and I but as this is about me and what works for me, it certainly is applicable:  neither of us is jealous of friendships that either of us has for either gender.  In addition, if one of us likes and is friends with a guy or a girl, the other is as well.  I suppose this isn’t entirely true — there have been a time or two that I’ve been jealous of Wrylon talking to another guy…when he was paying more attention to her than he was to me. No competition .  My attractions to men do not cause Wrylon the worry it would if I were attracted to women.  She doesn’t have the right parts and so there is no pressure on her to try to compete for my attention in that area. Sexual attraction .  This may seem counter intuitive but there are several factors in this area that m...

A quick thought on relationships. The moment the line is crossed from a healthy to an unhealthy relationship is the instant we choose not to face our fears.  It is the moment when we choose to act in a way to try to control or manipulate the other person’s actions to try to prevent the object of the fear.  The insidious nature of this is that we may unconsciously hide our fears, such as fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, behind a mask of needing to care for or help the other person.  However, because the true motivating factor is fear, any pursuing action is grown out of that fear.  An orange will not grow from an apple seed.  The only way to alter the results of ensuing actions is to make the conscious choice to follow a different path, to grow our tree of actions from seeds of courage, hope, trust, and all other Godly principles.  The resulting course corrections may require minimal or substantial changes in actions, depending on ho...

Edited and updated. I've always tried to portray a very positive attitude when writing about my husband being SSA. For the most part that is very accurate. There are hard things too. The longer we are it though the more I realize that all marriages are just as hard.  We all have trials that we go through to make us stronger and ours is no different.  I think as long as a SSA person has learned to have healthy relationships with their same gender and they keep strong in their marriage then it is no different than being in a “normal” marriage which also will always have its issues too. As Will has grown emotionally he has taken more notice of people and their reactions/actions to people around them and now understands them better too.   He has noticed that some guys he is around, really like being around girls. Yes, obviously, but let me explain more.  He and a good straight guy friend, who both enjoy each other’s company, will be talking alone. A gal wil...

I had begun to see a pattern in my life.  With those people that I would open up to, to allow them to really see the true me, faults and strengths, I would begin to form incredible healthy, loving connections that made both of us in the relationship feel more whole, loved, and accepted.  It is an amazing feeling.  I will take that feeling over any other "high" any day, hands down. I saw a comment by one of my Wife's friends on Facebook this morning: " Today I realized that I am afraid to enter into a relationship space with a man because I am fearful that once I allow myself that vulnerability, I will completely lose myself within that person. That that person with then take advantage of the vulnerability. This is going to take longer than I thought." In my weird world of SSA, I am feeling exactly  the same way.  Oh, the complexity of life!  While sexual intimacy will always be reserved for my sweetheart and true love, I am learning, a little painfully...