Finding Strength of Will

This is the next in line of my journal entries following my journey of self acceptance. It was written around Thanksgiving 2013. I have been hanging on for so long in such a difficult place that I am worn out and run down.  I am at the end of my strength.  To say just hang on would be asking me to do the impossible.  We hear tales of people doing the impossible and it is tempting to suggest that I do the same.  But I have already been there.  I have been holding on when it was impossible.  And now it really is. Even as I am about to let go I see the potential before me for things to be better.  They are there, if I can just hold on a little longer.  Or so it seems.  But I cannot and to face that feels like white-hot tears burning my face as the fall.  To see the goal just out of reach.   So I want to turn away.  To fall gratefully and blissfully into the darkness.  To let it’s cold oblivion take me out of feeli...

My wife and I were discussing a comment a friend had received from a family member.  The family member was having difficulty reconciling with the fact the my friend is SSA.  My 11-year-old son was in the room.  I realized he was listening, even though he appeared to be intently reading, so while still talking to my wife, I adjusted my comments more to his frame of reference.  After a few minutes he chimed in and asked: "Is she Christian?  I'd think a Christian would have an easier time understanding." "That doesn't always make a difference," my wife replied. "Sometimes people have a hard time accepting things they don't understand.  I know several people who think they will never be able to go to heaven because of the mistakes they have made," I added.  He looked flabbergasted. "I guess it really comes down to how much you understand the Atonement," I continued, wondering how much I needed to explain. "Yeah," he qu...

The need for intimacy, for connection, and the attraction to others is the foundation of same-gender attraction.  The complexities and pain come from a lack of understanding of our need for connection, both personal and in society as a whole, combined with greed, pride, doubt, and fear of something different from accepted norms.  The solution is what it has always been:  love, acceptance, patience, moderation, hard work.   My son taught me this today. As my wife and I get more comfortable with our situation, our conversations are getting more and more open.  In addition,we have been to firesides hosted by SSA groups and have taken our kids, been to dinner with like minded individuals, we plan on volunteering at a local center supporting LGBT youth, and we are blogging about it.  My children are observant but most are young enough be in that wonderful state of ignorance from innocence.  My preteen son has begun to take notice. My wife and I well aware o...