Finding Strength of Will

We have been writing this blog for almost 6 months now. We have enjoyed having pseudonyms and being somewhat anonymous. The time has come for us to be the real us now. This wasn't an easy decisions but it is the right one. The thoughts and feelings we express on this blog are as raw and open as we can make them and so it is with much trepidation that we post these.  We are real people.  We have a family whose lives will likely be affected by our decisions to be open about this.  But one thing we have learned is that it is much better to move forward with courage and love than to hide behind a pretense of perfection.  We are expecting some to be critical; we are all entitled to our own opinions and beliefs.  But our hope is that most that read this will do so with an open mind and a sincere desire to understand.  We know of so many who carry so tremendous amounts of shame and pain silently in their hearts because of a fear of not being accepted for who th...

My wife and I were discussing a comment a friend had received from a family member.  The family member was having difficulty reconciling with the fact the my friend is SSA.  My 11-year-old son was in the room.  I realized he was listening, even though he appeared to be intently reading, so while still talking to my wife, I adjusted my comments more to his frame of reference.  After a few minutes he chimed in and asked: "Is she Christian?  I'd think a Christian would have an easier time understanding." "That doesn't always make a difference," my wife replied. "Sometimes people have a hard time accepting things they don't understand.  I know several people who think they will never be able to go to heaven because of the mistakes they have made," I added.  He looked flabbergasted. "I guess it really comes down to how much you understand the Atonement," I continued, wondering how much I needed to explain. "Yeah," he qu...

The need for intimacy, for connection, and the attraction to others is the foundation of same-gender attraction.  The complexities and pain come from a lack of understanding of our need for connection, both personal and in society as a whole, combined with greed, pride, doubt, and fear of something different from accepted norms.  The solution is what it has always been:  love, acceptance, patience, moderation, hard work.   My son taught me this today. As my wife and I get more comfortable with our situation, our conversations are getting more and more open.  In addition,we have been to firesides hosted by SSA groups and have taken our kids, been to dinner with like minded individuals, we plan on volunteering at a local center supporting LGBT youth, and we are blogging about it.  My children are observant but most are young enough be in that wonderful state of ignorance from innocence.  My preteen son has begun to take notice. My wife and I well aware o...