Finding Strength of Will

There are many reasons why being married to a woman is good enough for me, and in some ways better or easier for me than being with a guy. Jealousy .  Maybe this is unique to my wife and I but as this is about me and what works for me, it certainly is applicable:  neither of us is jealous of friendships that either of us has for either gender.  In addition, if one of us likes and is friends with a guy or a girl, the other is as well.  I suppose this isn’t entirely true — there have been a time or two that I’ve been jealous of Wrylon talking to another guy…when he was paying more attention to her than he was to me. No competition .  My attractions to men do not cause Wrylon the worry it would if I were attracted to women.  She doesn’t have the right parts and so there is no pressure on her to try to compete for my attention in that area. Sexual attraction .  This may seem counter intuitive but there are several factors in this area that m...

Just faced another of the scariest moments of my life.  I wonder if I will ever get used to it?  This morning I came out to a friend I carpool with.  His friendship means a great deal to me and I have wanted to tell him for some time, but have not had the courage.   I used to think that I was a pretty good judge of character, and while I still believe it to be true in general, there are the secret workings of a person’s heart, their true character, that are difficult to see.  There are moments, though, when we truly see a person’s character, moments when guards are down, moments of vulnerability.  When talking to someone you care about, outing yourself is definitely one.   For both of you. “I’ve got to share something with you,” I told him this morning.  “Before I chicken out.  You never know where God is going to take you and he has certainly taken me on a strange path during the past year.” I explained that I had spent the majority of my li...

Josh Weed started doing weekly check-ins around September 2012 or so.  Again, I was still feeling pretty scared and to even post this was a huge leap of courage.  During the check-in, you tell how you are doing physically, emotionally, and spiritually, and set a goal for the upcoming week.  You are not allowed to say "good".  That's cheating. Physically:  Pretty ticked off.  The family's going through the second round of chest colds in two weeks.  I really shouldn't complain because it's been about three months since we've been sick, but it still sucks waking up at 3AM  to your 5-year-old hacking up a lung and you're thinking, "didn't we just do this?"  Sort of worn out from that and lack of sleep related to that.  Other than that, feeling pretty good about myself physically.  Been keeping up on my goal to ride my bike to work for a couple of weeks now (helps that the transmission's on the fritz in my car).  Also getting some...

I wrote this post two weeks ago, as you will see at the bottom.   I’m actually glad I didn’t post before as it gave me two weeks to put everything in a better perspective. Will has always been gay or attracted to men.   Since he was 8, he knew he was different.   Then, I assume, sometime a few years later he realized he was SSA (Same Sex Attracted).   He had a goal in mind though; he was going to go on a mission, he was going to get married, he was going to have a family, and he was NOT going to be gay.   Though that did get him where he wanted to be, and we think that the goal to not be gay was a good thing for our journey, the time comes when you have to be honest with yourself or you might explode!   :) When Josh Weed came out (you can read our story about that here ) it allowed Will to be OK with being gay.   That means he isn’t squashing those feeling anymore.   And if he isn’t squashing those feelings, that means he is having them. ...