Finding Strength of Will

Here is my blog post for ldslights.org. I sat down to type one thing but as I typed this is what I ended up with instead. It is a bit of a tribute to a friend whose funeral we attended yesterday. Written January 11th, 2015 by Wrylon The above picture is a picture of our family’s feet, from years ago. Today we attended the funeral of a friend. When things like this happen it makes us look at our own lives. How am I living? What influence am I showing? The woman today left an influence all around the country and especially among her family, friends and acquaintances. As she was sick over the last few months, friends went to be with her and comfort her, but it ended up the other way around. Those that visited her left feeling comforted. What good I am doing in the world? The words to the song “Because I Have Been Given Much” by Grace Noll Crowell come to mind, the beginning and the 3 rd  verse. Because I have been given much I too must give. …. Because I have been blessed ...

There are many reasons why being married to a woman is good enough for me, and in some ways better or easier for me than being with a guy. Jealousy .  Maybe this is unique to my wife and I but as this is about me and what works for me, it certainly is applicable:  neither of us is jealous of friendships that either of us has for either gender.  In addition, if one of us likes and is friends with a guy or a girl, the other is as well.  I suppose this isn’t entirely true — there have been a time or two that I’ve been jealous of Wrylon talking to another guy…when he was paying more attention to her than he was to me. No competition .  My attractions to men do not cause Wrylon the worry it would if I were attracted to women.  She doesn’t have the right parts and so there is no pressure on her to try to compete for my attention in that area. Sexual attraction .  This may seem counter intuitive but there are several factors in this area that m...

Got an email from a friend this week and I wasn’t sure how to reply. You’d think it would be easy. Something simple would suffice, like: “I wish I were there to go with you. Sounds like a lot of fun.” But for some reason I found it difficult to say even that. Here’s why. We’ve been friends for a long time now. Since our first teenage years. We were friends by nature of a mutual friend first, but over time our own friendship grew. He was quiet and reserved, introverted. He like to have things just so. His room was always in order and he paid attention to the details but without getting bogged down by them. He seemed to know what he liked and what he didn’t like without much hesitation. All quite different from me. My room would go through fitful bouts of cleanliness and disarray. My likes and dislikes related much more directly to my mood rather than to any empirical method of elimination of less appealing options. Even my favorite color varied from day to day. He and...

My heart is full this morning, as are my thoughts.  Almost too many to sort through, so I don’t try.  Good thoughts mostly, and I sit here in amazement.  It seems like another lifetime ago when I lived with a constant feeling of shame and fear.  I lived so long in the fear that people would see me for who I was, and would hate me.  Today at least I find it hard to comprehend that I ever believed that. During the course of that past month or two my wife and I have begun to be much more open.  We have shared our story many times and in every instance the reaction has been amazing.  The comments have been encouraging and uplifting, confirming that we are accepted and that how they see me hasn’t changed.  And it hasn’t.  The actions and attitudes of those that I associate with regularly that now know my story have continued to show me the same thing:  acceptance and friendship. To all of those whom we have told, thank you.  I don’t...

Over the last week or so I have found myself thinking of and even saying to Will that I wish we could go back to the way things were. Not, that I really want that, but this new path is a bit scary and in a lot of ways uncomfortable.   I have heard Will say quite a few times over the last little while that he is so far out of his comfort zone that he doesn’t even   remember where it is anymore.   I didn’t think much about my wishing things to go back until I was talking with someone Sunday night and they said at this point many wives try and pull their husband’s back. I thought about that for a few minutes then and I was thinking about it again today. I have NO desire to go back to the ways things were. Was it safer?   Perceivably, but not necessarily. Will was getting tired of hiding such a big part of him.   Was it more comfortable? Maybe, but it was preventing us from having as close of relationship that we have now; no secrets, no elephants in the room, a...