Finding Strength of Will

Why do we call Lucas gay? There are lots of terms used for those that are same-sex attracted, same-gender attracted, gay, queer, just a man, a child of God, homo, homosexual, etc. Why do we chose the term gay? We did it on purpose and we do it more on purpose now, than we even did when we first started using it. We used it to begin with because it was a term we understood. It was a turning point in our lives and using the word we understood, signified that. We knew Lucas was SSA but it didn’t mean the same thing. That was something he and I wanted him to overcome and something I definitely didn’t understand, though he didn’t either.  Gay is a term we understood and it was different than SSA, in our eyes, and it was something we no longer wanted him to overcome but something to help him grow, and learn, and become more than who he was. SSA was a weakness, gay was something that we saw could become a strength. I know that seems odd to many, but I really believe there are SO ...

Got an email from a friend this week and I wasn’t sure how to reply. You’d think it would be easy. Something simple would suffice, like: “I wish I were there to go with you. Sounds like a lot of fun.” But for some reason I found it difficult to say even that. Here’s why. We’ve been friends for a long time now. Since our first teenage years. We were friends by nature of a mutual friend first, but over time our own friendship grew. He was quiet and reserved, introverted. He like to have things just so. His room was always in order and he paid attention to the details but without getting bogged down by them. He seemed to know what he liked and what he didn’t like without much hesitation. All quite different from me. My room would go through fitful bouts of cleanliness and disarray. My likes and dislikes related much more directly to my mood rather than to any empirical method of elimination of less appealing options. Even my favorite color varied from day to day. He and...

Edited and updated. I've always tried to portray a very positive attitude when writing about my husband being SSA. For the most part that is very accurate. There are hard things too. The longer we are it though the more I realize that all marriages are just as hard.  We all have trials that we go through to make us stronger and ours is no different.  I think as long as a SSA person has learned to have healthy relationships with their same gender and they keep strong in their marriage then it is no different than being in a “normal” marriage which also will always have its issues too. As Will has grown emotionally he has taken more notice of people and their reactions/actions to people around them and now understands them better too.   He has noticed that some guys he is around, really like being around girls. Yes, obviously, but let me explain more.  He and a good straight guy friend, who both enjoy each other’s company, will be talking alone. A gal wil...

I am Azalea, Will’s wife. He is gay and I am the opposite.  I LOVE guys!  LOL  He was worried I would be uncomfortable at a North Star Fireside which was mostly all (SSA/gay) men.  Really?  You do know me, right?  A place where there are mostly men and for that matter kind, sensitive, caring men?  Sounds like heaven to me! So in the last few months my husband Will has embraced the fact that he is gay.  He is becoming a different person and it is so fun!  Our marriage is very solid and we are best friends.  I think that is what makes this all work so well. I love that my Will can see the big picture. He, much like Josh Weed, knew he wanted to go on a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, he knew he wanted to marry in the Temple and he knew he wanted to have a family and he knew that he wanted to remain a faithful Latter-day Saint. This is one of the reasons he was not going to be gay. Well, it gets to the poin...