Finding Strength of Will

Just did something scary.  I am an emotional person.  I develop strong feelings for my friends and my feelings for my male friends are particularly deep. To clarify before I go on, I have two concepts of "gay" in my mind.  I am developing the new and depreciating the old.  The first (new) says I am me and this sometimes describes aspects of me.  The other (old) says this is who I am.  The first encourages identity, the second destroys it. So, in that light I was realizing this morning that I was missing one of my best  friends.  He lives out of state and we used to talk often.  We've gotten busier and it's been a few months since we talked.  He's not SSA and my thought was: "I can't tell him that I'm missing him because that will sound gay (second definition)."  BAM!  Instant fear of rejection. "You're missing him because he's your friend and it's been a while since you talked.  Yes love for your male friends very stron

A quick thought on relationships. The moment the line is crossed from a healthy to an unhealthy relationship is the instant we choose not to face our fears.  It is the moment when we choose to act in a way to try to control or manipulate the other person’s actions to try to prevent the object of the fear.  The insidious nature of this is that we may unconsciously hide our fears, such as fear of rejection, fear of abandonment, fear of failure, behind a mask of needing to care for or help the other person.  However, because the true motivating factor is fear, any pursuing action is grown out of that fear.  An orange will not grow from an apple seed.  The only way to alter the results of ensuing actions is to make the conscious choice to follow a different path, to grow our tree of actions from seeds of courage, hope, trust, and all other Godly principles.  The resulting course corrections may require minimal or substantial changes in actions, depending on how long our actions have grown

So I was going through and deleting old e-mail today and I came across one that said "Porn for Women." It was from my mom and so I knew it was safe to click on. :)  As I clicked through the pictures they made me smile. My husband has done a lot of what was mentioned or at least similar. He buys me flowers in the winter when it isn't quite spring and he knows I am getting restless. Sometimes he buys me flowers just because. He takes me shoe shopping. He cooks for me along with many other things. I know that many husbands straight or otherwise do these things too, but they made me smile and so I thought I would share. Here are just a few of them: