What is attraction?
There were a
lot of things I took for granted as a youth and young adult. Who I was
attracted to was somewhat straight forward. I found a handsome man that very quickly
became someone I couldn’t imagine not in my life. Fast forward 15 years and I
am learning that attraction is not so straight forward for everyone.
As a
teenager who do you find attractive? Well other teenagers, young adults and an
occasional just hot person, older…there aren’t many of those though. As a young
adult who do you find attractive? Other young adults, hot young-ish people and
an occasional really hot teenager or older person but those are few and far
between. As a middle age person who do you find attractive? Do you actually
find other middle age people attractive that you wouldn’t have given the time
of day when you were a teen and just because they were middle aged? What about
when you are 90? Who is attractive? Do you actually find other 90 year olds
attractive?
There seems
to be a thought that attractions can’t change or don’t change but they do don’t
they. They change because we change.
There are
many people that indicate that sexual attraction is one of the most important
aspects in finding and having a partner…which to me translates to finding one’s
partner attractive so you want to have sex. Isn’t that what that translates too? So does that aspect have to be there? And does it have to be there the exact same
way for everyone?
How many
people do you meet and after getting to know them there attractiveness changes?
You meet a hot person but they are a jerk. They might still be hot but it does
change their attractiveness. How about a not so attractive person that is just
the sweetest and most amazing person; they because more attractive, even though
there looks have not changed at all. It
happens.
Also are
there things that change attractiveness? I remember reading a Dear Abby once. A
man was married to a woman for 25+ years or something like that. Upon retiring and now being with his wife on
a constant basis he realized that she only bathed about every 3 days or
something like that. He all of the sudden found her very unattractive. He thought
she should bath more. Even though NOTHING
had changed except his knowledge of that, she became unattractive to him.
When we find
someone that we really like being with be that just a friend or more than just
a friend are they things we overlook because we just like being with them? Are
all your friends EXACTLY to the letter who you would have them ideally be? I
have lots of friends and a wonderful husband but I don’t know anyone who is
100% the perfect person. That is good though because I am not perfect.
I probably
have written this before and I will probably write it again but I think it’s
good. For those that are SSA but desire to marry or seek out a marriage with
someone of the opposite sex here is my advice from all the really good
marriages I have seen. This does not mean the marriages haven’t had issues but
they are the marriages where the couple, even amongst issues and hardships and
even infidelity, is able to work through things and still be an amazing
couple. Go find the person that you love
being around SO much that it doesn’t even matter that they are the opposite
sex.
In general I
have not heard of sexual issues really being a huge problem when that happens.
I am not saying there aren’t quirks or little things or times when maybe things
aren’t working, but you are going to find that in any and almost every long
term relationship.
Marry your
sweetheart, your best friend, the person you can’t imagine life without and
keep remembering and renewing that.
To me more
than anything, the story below is what marriage and love is really about.
Here is a story passed around
Facebook that was followed by comments that echoed this story with similar
stories from their own families.
TRUE LOVE (A Doctor's note) Must
Read!!
It was approximately 8:30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 a.m. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I saw him check his watch anxi...ously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient. On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife. I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago. I asked him in surprise, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back my tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
It was approximately 8:30 a.m. on a busy morning when an elderly gentleman in his eighties arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 a.m. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat. I knew it would take more than an hour before someone would to able to attend to him. I saw him check his watch anxi...ously for the time and decided to evaluate his wound since I was not busy with another patient. On examination, the wound was well healed. Hence, I talked to one of the doctors to get the supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound. We began to engage in a conversation while I was taking care of his wound. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment later as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no and said that he needed to go to the nursing home to have breakfast with his wife. I inquired about her health. He told me that she had been in the nursing home for a while as she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. I probed further and asked if she would be upset if he was slightly late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was and she had not been able to recognize him since five years ago. I asked him in surprise, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?" He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is." I had to hold back my tears as he left. I had goose bumps on my arm, and I thought, "That is the kind of love I want in my life." True love is neither physical nor romantic.
True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.
~Wrylon
By extension then, a straight person could be in a marriage with someone of their same sex as natural attraction is irrelevant in your argument. Would you support.that? And as the straight wife, could you.picture yourself in a marriage with another woman? If God said that you should.marry someone.of the same.sex.could you.do.that?
ReplyDeleteI don't know that I could do the journey the same way Lucas has. I don't think I could have. Thankfully, it isn't my lot in life. Lucas can do it. That's not to say it isn't without difficulty or challenge or many other things, but this is what he has chosen and continues to choose. I think he is pretty amazing!
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