After my last post, I wanted to share some happier thoughts so chose to share some of my responses to me coming out.  I loved each of these because they were real, from-the-heart responses.  The authenticity of them did a lot to alleviate my anxiety at sharing.  Here are my favorites:
  1. I had no idea!
  2. (jaw drop)
  3. Wow.
  4. Does your wife know?
  5. How does that work?
  6. So are those really your kids?
  7. But you and your wife love each other so much?!
  8. Thank you for trusting me with that.  It doesn't change how I see you.
  9. Really?  What can I do to help you?
  10. Well that explains a lot.
I wanted to add to the statement:  "It doesn't change how I see you."  Not true.  How people see me has changed, but how could it not?  Learning something new about someone does cause me to reflect on my perceptions of them.  And on top of that, there’s a lot about my character that's different now as I’m no longer suppressing significant parts of it.  Also, I am a bit of a novelty.  I've noticed on many occasions someone's gaze lingering for a bit longer after they finish talking, with an inquisitive look in their eye.  I like that.  Feel free to be curious.  I’m curious about me, too.  Like they say on my kid's TV show, "Asking questions is the best way to find things out."

To those that have a hard time understanding, I get that.  I do to.

To all those that have been truly wonderful to me, and there are many, thank you.  Your love and support has made it possible for me to be where I am today.  I keep a collection of memories of people's support in a quiet room in my brain.  Visiting it always brings a smile and happiness.
Posted by Lucas Jones On 10/10/2013 12:40:00 AM 5 comments

5 comments:

  1. I like you better-there's more depth to what I know about both of you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm not trying to be rude, but what would you consider to be an appropriate response? There are stock responses to lots of things. "I have cancer." "I'm so sorry." "I'm engaged." "I'm so happy for you." These phrased don't even have to match up with one's actual feelings (because, say, the person is a hypochondriac and has had cancer three times in the past month, or the fiance/fiancee is a complete jerk.) Unfortunately, to my mind, the correct response to "I'm gay" is something like "I feel pretty jolly myself." But if someone wants to discuss their sexual orientation with me, I'm afraid my first response would be, "What do you want me to do with that piece of information?" So, I ask again, what would you consider an appropriate response?

    ReplyDelete
  3. This was supposed to be a humorous but also heartfelt thank you for those around us that have been loving and accepting. Maybe in your social/business circles sexual orientation is a whatever thing. Unfortunately for many that is not the case. It is important, for those who are willing, to stand and help make a change. It is scary and very unknown. So what is an appropriate response? A real one, just like the ones above.

    ReplyDelete

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