Finding Strength of Will

After my last post, I wanted to share some happier thoughts so chose to share some of my responses to me coming out.  I loved each of these because they were real, from-the-heart responses.  The authenticity of them did a lot to alleviate my anxiety at sharing.  Here are my favorites: I had no idea! (jaw drop) Wow. Does your wife know? How does that work? So are those really your kids? But you and your wife love each other so much?! Thank you for trusting me with that.  It doesn't change how I see you. Really?  What can I do to help you? Well that explains a lot. I wanted to add to the statement:  "It doesn't change how I see you."  Not true.  How people see me has changed, but how could it not?  Learning something new about someone does cause me to reflect on my perceptions of them.  And on top of that, there’s a lot about my character that's different now as I’m no longer suppressing significant parts of it.  Also, I am a bit of a novelty.  I've

I’m writing this in hopes that it will help clear my mind and because I need to do something.  I need to act, more than I have.  I just spent some time sobbing on my bathroom floor as frustration and a mess of other emotions overwhelmed me.  I just listened to Elder Oaks’ talk on where God wants me to stand on the topic of Gay Marriage.  And I believe all that he said.  I truly do.  I have already thought through and lived with the bulk of his statements.  I am a gay man, married to a woman, with children of my own.  I have seen the blessings of being married to a woman and I will affirm the importance of it to anyone who asks with no proof other than what I have experienced in my own life.  But it is still a challenge, sometimes a daily challenge to wade through the complexities of living as a man who is sexually attracted to men instead of women.  At times I feel as if I am single handedly sparing with generations of social stigmas and beliefs about how I should act and what I shou

The next in line chronologically of me learning to deal with and accept being same gender attracted.  I've had many thoughts that I wanted to say in way of explaining this or commenting on how my views have changed or what I've learned, but I've scrapped them all.  I want it to be just what it is--a snapshot of how I saw things then.  Jumping back in time... So, here’s a downside to being on the gay side of things in a mixed-orientation marriage. So Wrylon’s been watching a TV drama.  The main character’s a gal and of course there’s a guy (or a couple of them) that are romantically inclined towards her.  The one is the stereotypical TV guy -- rugged, horny, lots of testosterone, but with a potential soft side hiding around somewhere under the scruff.  He’s always trying to get the gal in bed.  Now there are plenty of times when I am interested in pursuing something but it's invariably at bad times (middle of the work day, when the kids won't stay in bed, etc.).