Finding Strength of Will

Edited and updated. I've always tried to portray a very positive attitude when writing about my husband being SSA. For the most part that is very accurate. There are hard things too. The longer we are it though the more I realize that all marriages are just as hard.  We all have trials that we go through to make us stronger and ours is no different.  I think as long as a SSA person has learned to have healthy relationships with their same gender and they keep strong in their marriage then it is no different than being in a “normal” marriage which also will always have its issues too. As Will has grown emotionally he has taken more notice of people and their reactions/actions to people around them and now understands them better too.   He has noticed that some guys he is around, really like being around girls. Yes, obviously, but let me explain more.  He and a good straight guy friend, who both enjoy each other’s company, will be talking alone. A gal will walk in and the gu

My heart is full this morning, as are my thoughts.  Almost too many to sort through, so I don’t try.  Good thoughts mostly, and I sit here in amazement.  It seems like another lifetime ago when I lived with a constant feeling of shame and fear.  I lived so long in the fear that people would see me for who I was, and would hate me.  Today at least I find it hard to comprehend that I ever believed that. During the course of that past month or two my wife and I have begun to be much more open.  We have shared our story many times and in every instance the reaction has been amazing.  The comments have been encouraging and uplifting, confirming that we are accepted and that how they see me hasn’t changed.  And it hasn’t.  The actions and attitudes of those that I associate with regularly that now know my story have continued to show me the same thing:  acceptance and friendship. To all of those whom we have told, thank you.  I don’t know if you know what it means to me and to my wife.

The fondest memory I have of my Grandma is her love of Robert Frost.  Many were the times she shared these words with me: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-- I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. * I remember still her voice, her smile, and the kind look in her eyes as she spoke.  A twinkle of joy and wisdom.  As a small child I remember the distinct impression that she knew a secret, and that it was contained in those few words. How poignant this has become in my life as I have chosen the road less traveled by. Today I shared my story with a friend.  The usual fear and doubt were present, the questions, the hesitation.  But once again I felt a gentle urging and encouragement.  As surprised as she was to hear my story, I was equally surprised to find that she had a great understanding and compassion.  Someone close to her lives with this and has been less fortunate than I. For a while now I have been struggling with depression and frustrat